If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
