I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
