I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
