I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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