Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
