you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize