ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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