I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
