I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
