okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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