how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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