after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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