we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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