I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
