I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
