'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
