I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
