Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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