ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
