It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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