Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
