I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
