I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
