I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize