Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
