I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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