i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
