She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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