Its about making memories worth repressing
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
