I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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