idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
