You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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