But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
