oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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