Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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