I want to stick my p in your. b.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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