i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
