sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
