Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
