have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
