I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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