We won't sleep together?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
