I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
