i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
