Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
