can we get nightvision for the apartment?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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