We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
