in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
