I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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