I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
