Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
