Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
