Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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